At 41, I Finally Understood Why I’ve Been Stuck for Six Years

I’m 41 years old, and until recently, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

That sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? Like something you’d expect from someone in their early twenties, not someone who’s been around for four decades. But there I was—stuck in an endless loop of negative self-talk, putting off everything I considered doing, watching the problem get worse with each passing year.

The Desperate Experiment That Changed Everything

I got so desperate that I did something unusual. I’ve been using Claude AI for work, and I wondered: could I use it for something more personal?

I watch this coach named Joe Hudson on YouTube—his approach to therapy resonates with me. So I took all the transcripts from his coaching sessions, loaded them into Claude, and created what I can only describe as a “Joe Hudson-style therapy session.”

I know how that sounds. Trust me, I know.

But I opened the Claude app on my phone, changed the voice to male (which eerily sounds like Joe Hudson), and went through a session trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

What I discovered wasn’t what I expected.

The Real Problem: I Was Thinking, Not Feeling

Here’s what the session revealed: I wasn’t broken. I was just stuck in my head.

I’ve spent years thinking about what I should be doing instead of feeling what I want to be doing. Every decision filtered through an endless barrage of thoughts:

• Is this good enough?
• Am I wasting people’s time?
• What should I talk about?
• Will anyone care?

The breakthrough came when the session told me to stop trying to solve everything and just sit with my feelings. Not fix them. Not analyze them. Just be with them, like a caretaker rather than a problem-solver.

And something shifted.

It felt less intense. More calm. More at ease.

The Six-Year Block I Didn’t Know I Had

Here’s what else came out of that session—patterns I’d been blind to:

The Approval Loop: For six years, I’ve wanted to start a YouTube channel. But I’ve been seeking approval from an imaginary algorithm and audience before creating anything. The YouTube algorithm became just another authority figure I needed to please, like I’ve done with everyone my whole life.

The Burden I Carried Alone: I’ve been carrying the weight of being my girlfriend Emma’s “financial savior.” She’s never said anything about this—she doesn’t see me this way at all. But in my head, I’ve created this enormous pressure.

I know things. Digital marketing. Website creation. Funnel creation. Email marketing. Online course creation. Community building. I’ve been doing this for 11 years.

And I kept thinking: I should have done more by this point. I should have given Emma financial freedom by now. I should have saved her from that 9-to-5 job I can see straining her.

Emma has no idea I’ve been thinking this. Which is strange, actually. I should probably talk to her about it.

The “Should” Violence: Every time I said “should,” I was beating myself up. The constant internal criticism was exhausting me more than any actual work would.

Here’s the kicker: I wasn’t tired from creating. I was tired from fighting myself for six years.

What Actually Shifted

When I stopped trying to solve everything and just kept my feelings company, I felt lighter.

The shift wasn’t dramatic. It was subtle:

• From “I need to figure out the perfect content” to “I could just talk about what’s actually happening”
• From shallow, anxious breathing to calm and ease
• From planning the whole future to being willing to make one video right now
• From “I should make videos” to “I could choose to make a video”

That difference—between “should” and “choose”—is everything.

Why I’m Sharing This (And Maybe You Need to Hear It Too)

I recorded this video and I’m writing this post because I suspect there are others like me. Maybe you’re 40-plus and want to start creating content online but you’re paralyzed by self-doubt, overwhelm, feelings of inadequacy.

What do I have to offer?

The younger generation seems to treat being on camera as normal. But at 40-plus, it feels abnormal to be talking to yourself on video, putting yourself out there.

Here’s what I learned from that AI therapy session that I’m choosing to believe:

• My resistance has been protecting me from more exhaustion. I can honor that.
• Being tired and not knowing is perfect. That’s where honest creation comes from.
• Emma’s job unhappiness isn’t mine to fix.
• I don’t need the algorithm’s approval before I start.
• Speaking from the present moment—including my fear and uncertainty—IS my content.

The Action I Took (And You Can Too)

The session ended with one action step: Take out my camera and record one video. Talk about whatever’s on my mind. No script, no plan, no pressure.

Create from the calm, easy feeling I discovered—not from the stressed, solving energy I’d been operating from for six years.

And that’s what I did.

I took out my camera. I recorded. And now I’m writing this.

Not because I have it all figured out. Not because I’ve suddenly become confident or certain. But because I’m choosing to create from the now instead of the “someday when I’m ready.”

If You’re Feeling This Too

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck in your own loop—whether it’s about creating content, starting a business, making a career change, or anything else—maybe this will help:

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You don’t need the algorithm’s approval, or your audience’s approval, or anyone else’s approval before you begin.

You just need to stop fighting yourself long enough to feel what you actually want.

Not think about it. Feel it.

And then make one choice from that feeling.

Not a perfect choice. Just one choice.

For me, that choice was pressing record. For you, it might be something else entirely.

But whatever it is, I hope you’ll trust the knowing that’s in there somewhere beneath all the noise.

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I’m still figuring this out as I go. If you’re 40-plus (or any age) and struggling with similar feelings of self-doubt, overwhelm, or impostor syndrome, I’d love to connect. Subscribe if you want to follow along on this messy, uncertain, but honest journey.

And if this resonates with you, let me know in the comments. What’s the one thing you’ve been putting off because you’re stuck in your head about it?